Jill,
Well, I waited as long as I could wait.  I literally did everything
I could to occupy myself.  I couldn't take it anymore so I called 
you.  Naturally, in my time of need, you were not there.  No, no...
I'm fine.  Really.  At least it's Saturday.  I hung out with Lucie
today.  She's pretty cool to be sixty, British and a housekeeper.  
She told me that when you were little you ran around naked all the
time.  Want to bring that tradition back when you come visit?  You
know I'm joking, right?  Especially after she brought out the 
pictures.  You were a cute baby!  Heck, you're a cute 16 year old
too.  Which leads me back to the purpose of this email.  Call me
when you get a chance.  I miss you and I love you.

lOvE
sCoUt